Horror Film Review: The Forest

I've been having a hard time concentrating for long so here's a film review of a movie you can maybe skip ;)

 

3 out of 5

The Forest 2016, Horror-ish Thriller 

This movie wasn’t scary. It wasn’t sexy either. Gory, funny, suspenseful or enraging? No, no, no and nope. I felt nothing but boredom. There is nothing here for me to enthusiastically recommend it. It’s most definitely a wait for network tv kind of movie that you’ll want to watch while you’re folding laundry and just want something on in the background.

So, imagine you are an identical twin and you have the magical twin powers of connection or whatever they’re called. Your twin is the darker one (as in, she dyes her hair black and smokes out her eyeshadow). She’s also the more adventurous one. You are the more average of the two with your natural hair, makeup and wardrobe. One day you learn that sister has wandered into the Suicide Forest in Japan where people only go to, well, you know. . . You are certain she’s alive, twin powers and all, and you decide to trek out there on your own to find her because no one else cares enough to do it themselves. You are engaged (maybe?) to a decent guy but once you are near the forest, you allow a strange handsome guy you meet in a bar (I think? The memory, it is a fuzzy thing) to join you, along with a professional tour guide, because handsome fella says he knows the lay of the land. But night closes in and the actual tour guide leaves in a hurry, strongly advising you both to do the same. Handsome guy sticks around to keep you company during the night because he’s such a good guy and all.  Ummm hmmmm.



But, most sadly, it's not that kind of movie either.

 



Anyway, some quasi-spooky things happen, there’s lots of running about in the forest and flashbacks of a tragic childhood but alas nothing creepier than that happens.

 


If this scares you, you may like the movie more than I did and I wish I were you.