Bark at the Ghouls

GR Cleanup Originally Read in 2010

Meh. This one falls somewhere between a 2 and a 3 star read. I listened to this book on audio and though it held my attention decently enough I just wasn’t feeling any chemistry between the two lead characters. I admit that I’ve probably been reading way too much m/m erotica of late, but this book completely lacked steam. It was fun in a cute, empty sort of way and the writing was engaging enough. So engaging I didn’t realize that almost nothing of importance had happened for the first half of the book. Still, there wasn’t anything that made me scream with laughter or scream with frustration thus the resulting feeling that I just wasted several hours on another “meh” book.

Jared Hamilton and rising country star Priscilla Jayne Morgan (hereon known as PJ) were once homeless kids who bonded trying to survive on the streets. Now that sounds like a story I would have loved to read. This one notsomuch. Jared now works for a security firm and is hired by PJ’s faceless recording bigwigs to make sure she shows up for her concerts. They do this supposedly because her Mama, also her former manager until recently (fired because the bitch was stealing from her own daughter) has been bad mouthing her and they assume she’s flighty or something. PJ refuses to tell her side of the story and allows mama to ruin her reputation. PJ is much nicer a gal than me. Though all of this makes no sense to me it does set up two crucial plot points in the story so I just shut off my brain and went with it. The two run hot and cold with each other but mostly cold especially Jared. He is the “I am an Island. I must not feel emotion or really bad things might happen. I must remain in control at all times but especially during sex” type of dude that completely exhausts me. Apparently, Jared felt rejected by PJ years earlier and he’s holding on to that feeling for dear life even though 15 or so years have passed. They bop around from town to town, her playing gigs at small honky tonks before the big tour gets into full swing and he shadows her every move. Eventually Jared realizes she’s a professional and he is just wasting his time and driving her crazy, and decides to walk away. They share a big not-so-hot (if you ask me), toothy, smoochy. But wait! This is Romancelandia and an off his nut stalker conveniently enters the picture just then and Jared is forced to stick around to protect her. Great timing crazy man, this book could have been over. Instead, they get to fight some more, go to a spa, do some shopping (which gives PJ a chance to model some undies for Bigboy), talk a little and somehow fall in love.

Usually this author is a bit witty but I found myself cringing at some of her phrasing such as when Jared likens PJ’s little breasts to “cupcakes”, when PJ calls the sex act the “humpty hump” and especially when Jared “collapsed like a horse that had its legs shot out from under it” after experiencing an earth shattering orgasm. Just ew. I don’t want to think about dying horses in my light and frothy romances.

Sadly, I did not get the warm fuzzies at any time during this romance and really that’s why I read them. Otherwise, what’s the point?