The Beast House - Richard Laymon Read The Cellar based on my husband's raving recommendation and thought it was really cheesy but I am a nitpicky crab. My husband, who is much nicer a person than I, says they get better as the series continues but we'll see . . .

I'm going to read this in December for Jare's 2009 Spills & Chills Release Challenge over at bookcrossing.com. This month the theme is monsters.

Laymon is hit or miss for me. The Traveling Vampire Show is one of my favorite books despite the fact that nothing all that exciting happens until the very end. It's the characters in that book that hooked me.

The Beast House however doesn't feature characters I can latch onto in any way. There is a true-crime/horror writer and his protege attempting to steal a valuable diary from a buxom teenager and two ditsy women who are supposedly librarians who decide it will be a good idea to look up an old lover named Dan whom they haven't seen in five years . Who cares if he's married or worse yet bald and paunchy? They're supposed to be attending a librarian's convention in the town anyway and head out on a road trip wearing too tight t-shirts which attract the attention of every redneck with rape on his mind. Their virtue (ha, ha) is saved when two hunky young guys with absolutely nothing better to do come to their rescue. They all hit it off immediately, want to jump each others bones as well as become inseparable best buds. Awww. But wait! There will be no happily ever after for these dimwits. This is a Laymon novel not a romance. The chicks are still looking for Dan and their "search" for him leads them to the Beast House where the beast from The Cellar supposedly resides. I hope they all get boiled and eaten at this point because I am thoroughly bored. I'm quite a bit into this book and nothing at all has happened besides a little boob grabbing and some t-shirt ripping.

A little later: A few deaths have occurred and there is a clear distinction between the bad and the good characters but I'm still at the point where I could care less about any of them.

I have finally finished but admit to doing a lot of skimming to get through it. The majority of the book was deadly dull as we followed the aimless characters around as they looked for spooks and admired each others bums. A little action happens towards the end but it wasn't exciting enough to make up for the rest of the book. My husband says the last book in the series is better but I'm not sure I believe him.