The Chernobyl Diaries

 

I know I said I was going to read more but I just didn't feel like it. Instead I watched this.

 

I heard not so good things about this film but being the stubborn chick that I am I wasted an hour and 20 minutes of my life zoned out in front of this film yesterday anyway. Those negative reviewers might all be wrong for once. Hey, it's happened before. Besides It was raining and I had laundry to fold. Don't judge.

 

Anyway, listen to the reviews. The bad reviews, that is. 

 

It starts out when a trio of impossibly beautiful American's head to the Ukraine to visit the brother of the pretty boy in the group. This brother who is a devil-may-care type, it is assumed because he refuses to tell his dad if and when he'll return to the US (why? because he's an asshole? I don't know because it's not expanded on), decides to forgo the tourist traps and take them on a real adventure to visit the abandoned town of Pripyat. The folks who used to live there had to abandon everything when there was a terrible nuclear disaster at the nearby Chernobyl site. The "tour guide", a sketchy sort who takes them on a two hour road trip in a beat up old van, says the people had five minutes to leave because of the high levels or radiation but now it's safe to visit as long as you don't stay long.  Hmmm, that doesn't sound like a good idea to me but i can understand why the young and naive would do something stupid like this. I once went on island tour while in Aruba in a jeep driven by a local tour guide and it scared the crap out of me. I felt trapped and at his mercy as he drove like a lunatic the entire time. We do dumb stuff when we're young. I get it. 

 

Unfortunately, nothing much of anything truly worthy of excitement happens. They poke around, take some pretty pictures of each other and then stumble across a

giant bear!

(show spoiler)

 

They flee in terror and run screaming back to the van (okay, I'll admit I probably would've done the same too!) and then all sorts of predictable horror stuff happens but if you're faint of heart there's absolutely no need to worry. I's all so dark you can barely see it. Sadly, I tired of the pretty faces and perfectly big breasts about 30 minutes in because the characters turned out to be beautiful and blandly nice. It probably would've been better if they were all jerks. The movie needed some sarcasm and some gore THAT i COULD SEE. Everything scary and gory is hidden in an annoying cloak of darkness. This didn't add tension to the film. It just annoyed the crap out of me and had me squinting at the screen, hoping to see something, anything, that would make me pee my pants. Nope. Didn't happen. It could've been fantastic but it just wasn't.

 

Ah well, I finished the laundry so it wasn't a total waste. I give it a 1 1/2 because that

friggin

bear

(show spoiler)

 did give me a little fright.